I woke up this morning from a dream I was having. In my dream I was confronted by a man in his mid-40s with curly sandy-blond hair. The man was hostile towards me. In my dream he was known for being combative by the town’s people. Everyone made the effort to avoid him.
On this day particular day he directed his venomous hostility towards me. His fiery missiles of verbal assaults were in the form of questions. The man began his accusations toward me using same phrase over and over again”Why should I let you…?”. He was like a troll, blocking a bridge I wanted to cross. Before I could respond to his first question, he’d launch into another round of questions to me.
THEN, I broke my silence – I found my voice. Thunderously I responded, “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” (not meant in a romantic way). I repeated those words, not once, but three times. “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!” “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!! And each time I spoke those words they came out of my mouth with more intensity than the time before.
The reaction to my response by the man stunned even me. After my first response the man stopped talking, dead in his tracks. It was as if his mouth was sealed shut and his feet were set in dry cement. The second time I spoke he froze looking stunned and confused. By the third time, I watched before my eyes his demeanor change. Melting away from his eyes was a cold, steely darkness. His shoulders and arms, once tense and postured to punch me were now deflated, like a balloon releasing air.
My reactions were changing too. The first time I blurted out those four words, “Because I Love You!” (again, not meant in a romantic way) they seemed foreign to me, I was shocked I ever said them! I didn’t feel love towards the man. But when I repeated those words a second time, I heard and processed them. I began to embraced them as a godly truth. I became bolder with a confident freedom. No longer was I concerned for my safety. Instead I sensed a powerful army encamped around me, breaking down the strongholds in this man. After I repeated the words a third time, I woke up.
As I pondered my dream I was reminded of Galatians chapter 5 and the power of Agape Love. Agape love is unconditional, it is the Love described Jesus had when He died on the cross for us. When Agape love is released we are no longer carried away by what once was a stronghold. Galatians 5:14 says it this way, “For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In Galatians 5:15,16 it says “But if you bite and devour one another, take care lest you be consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit and you WILL NOT carryout the desire of the flesh.” Instead, God wants us to have a Holy Spirit Love, “But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control, against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23
What lesson is God teaching me through this dream? He is teaching me that my natural tendency when in conflict with someone is to lead from my emotions. My emotions almost never cause me to think or say the words, “I love you.” to my opponent. God is teaching me to fight conflict in love. When I read Galatians chapter 5 it is NOT saying I have to produce love for the person. Instead, it is saying to surrender my will to the Holy Spirit AND allow the Holy Spirit to fill me with the Spirit’s fruit of love for that person. The first step is my decision to surrender to be filled with the Love of the Holy Spirit. But what is possible next is powerful, a transformation which takes place inside of me.
One final point, I am not proposing I offer a co-dependent love to my opponent, in which I become a doormat and hand over all control to the other person. Not in the least! What I am proposing is a godly love, a perfect love. 1 John 4:16-18 says it this way “And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgement; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears in not perfected in love.”
So then in times along our journey when we encounter conflict how about applying perfect love? When we do, we’re told perfect love casts out fear. When fear is gone we will have more clarity, peace and joy to handle whatever situation comes our way.
Joyfully, Beverly